I posted this image on my Instagram this morning. This blog post is in continuation with that. A subject which is very close to my heart. Click on this image to get redirected to my Instagram handle or may also click on this link. @gauri.walecha
I don’t really like to talk about my story and what led me to depression, insomnia and suicidal tendencies…
I have always been afraid of being judged or being tagged as an attention or sympathy seeker… But recently, I wrote a post regarding my reasons of being MIA from this blog; That was the first time that I ever chose to talk about my anxiety publically… And I must say, all of you lovelies made me feel so comfortable and welcomed.
That’s when I decided that I need to use the platform to share my experience and my journey with my mental health issues. Especially when I live in a world where people are harshly judged to have them, it’s necessary that we talk about the issues to raise awareness and acceptability regarding them.
Through my middle school and my High school, I was a very popular kid. I used to represent my school at inter-school and state level competitions, used to handle literary club and various other events at my school. That really brought me into the limelight.
I am so grateful for that experience because it definitely gifted me some amazing skills and confidence….
But, with limelight comes Envy. My peer group used to envy my position in the school, which somehow convinced them that it was okay to bully me.
They used to call me names.
Ruin my homework and assignments.
Tried to push me into false accusations against me.
Even circulated nasty rumors about me.
I sat alone in my class through the final years of school and I had no friends at all.
Now before I go further, I am privileged to say that I haven’t really been through the worst form of bullying. I know that it goes way beyond that but at the same time, I wouldn’t dismiss the effect that all of this had on my self-esteem.
After a point, my confidence literally went crashing down, and I was at the rock bottom.
This morning, I woke up thinking about it and that’s when I realized something. My low self-esteem and lower self-confidence was not just their fault… No….more than anyone else, it was mine.
Because after a point, I started believing what they said, I believed that I deserved to be treated this way.
In short, I started bullying myself and that’s the exact moment when they won this nasty battle. (I wrote a related literally post on the other blog too, I’ll link it here: The battle)
To sum this up, I would like to say, that if you know someone who’s experiencing something like this or if you have been through this nightmare and still struggle with self-esteem issues; keep this in mind, those people, they don’t even remember what they did to you. Trust me, even if you tell all of this to their faces, they are gonna brush it off as a joke.
I know that it is easier said than done, but Stop believing your bullies. Stop bullying yourself.
Love yourself unconditionally and make sure that you stand by your side through the battle. Don’t join the other team.
If you are reading this, know that you are awesome and that you are meant for all the amazing things in life.🤗💕
God bless you all!
Have a great day ahead!